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In a slight departure from talking about destinations, things to do and traveling in general, today I’m going to share with you some thoughts on reverse culture shock. These thoughts have been floating around in my head for awhile now and I’m curious to hear your thoughts.
One thing that I’ve been struggling with since returning home is the strong emphasis on materialism in North American culture. I know I’m generalizing – not everyone is swept up in the race for the biggest house, most expensive car phenomenon – but a lot of people are. This is spurred on by all the advertising that we’re inflicted with day in and day out, only encouraging the culture of more more more.
This is especially apparent during holidays. In North America, holidays, especially those rooted in religion, have become more and more commercialized and have have switched gears to be about materialism and the buy more culture that is prevalent in North America.
Gorgeous hand painted Easter eggs Photo: mozzercork
Take for example Easter, this weekend. For many it is a religious holiday and a time to visit family. In Hungary, there are traditions, family time and lots of food. The Easter Monday traditions are a lot of fun. Traditionally, women are considered flowers that will wilt without proper water which men take upon themselves to do. They approach girls, asking through a traditional poem, if they can sprinkle them. When they say yes, then they get watered. Traditionally, women are doused in a bucket of water, but now they get a spray of perfume. The boys get painted eggs, which the girls prepared in the days before Easter, food and pálinka in return. It sounds like one big flirt fest.
Ladies and gents dressed in traditional clothing at an Easter festival in HungaryPhoto: Nebunel1
Take this same holiday in Canada and the US and you get lots of bunnies, chocolate and eggs. Yes, some still follow their religious traditions, but a lot of people partake by eating lots of chocolates and dyeing eggs for the fun of it.
You see the same thing during Christmas. My first Christmas at home, was such a shock after spending 2 abroad. I had forgotten how many ads there were, how many sales and just how much people are spending during the holiday season. It really just blows my mind.
Really? Minions have nothing to do with Easter. Photo: Mike Mozart
I’m not religious so in the big scheme of things whether or not a holiday still follows its religious roots doesn’t bother me. However, all the commercials and sales and advertisements that come up during these holiday periods do.
During Easter in Budapest, other than having a day off work and closed supermarkets, you would have no idea what the holiday is. There is no push to buy things, no decorated eggs in the window sills, no chocolate bunnies everywhere.
In fact, my memory of Easter in Hungary is a non event. I don’t remember doing anything special. Of course those who were religious went to church or went home for the holiday. I celebrated by cooking a three course meal for my friends and celebrating someone’s birthday.
When I moved to Budapest, I challenged myself to live on the salary that I was earning and not touch my savings (those were only for travel outside the country). Even if I wanted to buy things, I couldn’t afford it. Not to mention, there isn’t as strong as an emphasis on the things you own. When you’re forced to change habits, you make it happen.
When I first returned home, I had a hard time explaining to my friends why I couldn’t go do x, y, z activity, I couldn’t buy this or that or why I couldn’t go eat out. I had no money, and I was so broke. Now I have a steady job and income, but I’m still trying to not get swept back up into a lifestyle of things.
I know people who chase after the newest gadgets, despite owning the previous version that is barely a year old. I’m not judging these choices at all. It is a difference of priorities. I much rather save my money and spend it on experiences like travel.
It’s hard not to fall back into old habits and not to succumb to peer pressure and the materialistic culture around me. I like new clothes, shoes, purses and nail polish (my new weakness!) as much as the next girl, but I definitely don’t spend as much as I did before. When people ask me what I learned from my time abroad and how I’ve changed, this is the truthful answer. It can be difficult to relate to and understand, if you haven’t been away from it for a long time and then get reintroduced to it. .
What about your culture? Do you see it moving more towards materialism and commercialization? Are you in the US or Canada? Do you agree with me or think I’m totally off basis?
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I had reverse culture shock after returning from a trip to Belize and eastern Guatemala. This was easily the poorest area I’ve been to and I felt extremely guilty not so much for the poverty but for the lack of things I take for granted like access to healthcare, electricity and clean water.
Travel definitely makes you aware of the things that you take for granted. I felt the same way after coming back from an aid trip in Cambodia.
it is really sad that people get so swept up in buying the next great thing. I’m shopping for a phone right now and rolled my eyes at the plans that offer you the ability to upgrade every year. Seriously who are they trying to impress with having a new phone all the time!
Yes! I had originally written something a lot harsher in that sentence, but edited it out. Seriously – you’re just throwing your money away. It’s ridiculous. Just because the phone gets slightly thinner doesn’t mean you need to go running to the store to get it. It makes absolutely no sense to me.
Oh, I know Reverse Culture Shock well! I’m not sure the materialism hit me so much, but other things did. I guess by now I am used to stuff again (wow, I’ve been back for three years — it just hit me!) but it is true that we definitely have a more consumer-driven society or… marketing is definitely ALL UP IN YOUR GRILL and it can be very overwhelming.
Even though I’m not going through that because of traveling, as a grad student, I have to pick and choose and sometimes this is difficult for me too (the whole new clothes, nails, things in general). Sometimes, you just want to collect a bunch of things or… you really have to get good at being intentional and choosing what you really want. There definitely is pressure sometimes, for sure!
All the marketing definitely gets overwhelming after awhile. There is just so much of it and it never ends. Being a grad student definitely puts you in the same boat, but just think of that awesome shiny degree that you’ll have soon 🙂
I don’t even want to consider what it will be like returning home to the US after nearly a year in sub-Saharan Africa. The materialism will certainly be a shock, as it has been to you. Very thoughtful and introspective post!
Thanks Dave. It’ll definitely be a shock and a lot of frustration, but hopefully manageable. Or you could just keep on traveling forever 😉
Oh yes, I hear what you say! When I came back from living in Spain the ‘tapas age’ had found The Netherlands and tapas restaurants were popping up allover the place. I coudn’t believe what horrible food, bits and bites were sold for high prices as tapas! It made me very ‘homesick’.
Have a great Sunday!
Esther.
Found you through Sunday Traveler
Succumbing to commercialism is one of my worries about repatriating to the USA. Living in Malaysia where I’m not exposed to nearly as much advertising or effective marketing, I haven’t really been tempted to do much impulse shopping. Remembering back to how bad I used to be at Target in the USA, I can’t even figure out what I was spending all that money on. (Now, I seem to spend all my money on travel. 78% of last year’s credit card bills was for travel.) I’m worried that I’ll fall back into my old ways when I return. I really like that Hungarian Easter tradition, by the way.
Oh gosh, Target is the WORSE! They’ve just opened up in Canada and so far I haven’t gone to one yet – though I hear it’s not as cheap as in the US so that’ll stop me I think. Like you the vast majority of my spending these days is on travel which is just the way I like it.
When I moved back to Italy after living away for 7 years, including a 15 month round the world trip, I was so bewildered I found it really hard to relate to people. Seemed like we had nothing in common, people made fun of me because I wasn’t interested in ‘things’ and thought I was lazy and childish because I wanted to travel. I still get that sometimes. Now, I try to share with people what I learnt during my travels, and get the best of my home culture. Materialism doesn’t interest me, as I guess doesn’t interest most of us. Thanks Adelina for sharing this great insight.
Thanks Margherita! I can’t imagine returning home after being away for 7 years. That must have been really difficult! I think the hardest part is when people, especially people who you call friends, just don’t relate. They think you’re weird and it creates tension among friends which is never fun. I’ve drifted away from some friends just because of this and it makes me a bit sad.
Live in the States for 10 years and holiday season has never failed to amaze me with the plethora of goods I could find in the stores, big and small. In fact, it became a bit of a game with friends to think of a product, then Google it to see if anyone had already come up with the idea!
That being said, I do appreciate the innovation and inventiveness that creates all these products in the US — that same drive is what’s kept America’s status in the world as the most influential nation. I moved from DC to head back to Malaysia for the family’s sake and currently experiencing my own reverse culture shock…especially the traffic and service. Food’s great though!
True. Innovation is definitely a plus that comes from a capitalist society. It seems like there are so many weird and crazy ideas out there and people are willing to buy it. I hope your reverse culture shock gets better over time. Enjoy the food 🙂
This was a great post to read, thanks 🙂 I am similar to you in that I just can’t relate to the materialism I see back home. People are always amazed that I’ve never had a car, but to me running a car is a luxury that I trade in for travel. I’ve definitely got a different set of priorities now!
Thanks so much Caitlyn! A car is definitely an expense I can do without. I hate driving anyways, but it seems like you need one to get around in North America which kind of sucks. I’m holding out though.
I hate the commercialisation of holidays, and I hate that here in the UK Christmas shopping begins in September, never mind after Halloween and bonfire night in November. So by the time Christmas actually arrives, I’m sick of it. But Christmas for me is spending time with family; we cook a lovely lunch, give each other a few presents that actually mean something and then play board games for the rest of the day. Not much money spent and a great day to be had.
A finance blog I read promotes this idea of stepping away from more more more. He did an experiment – he is frugal anyway but will happily spend money on a nice meal every so often, or coffee, because his time without coffee made him miserable. But they have a good life and do many free things. On this years annual guys holiday, he decided to do things differently. He had put on one side £1000 and decided to blow it all – nice meals, rounds of drinks, more luxurious methods of transport…. and when he got home, he noted that although he had ‘wasted’ hundreds more pounds than he actually needed to spend, his experiment hadn’t been wasted because it proved to him the point that buying more and spending more doesn’t increase your level of happiness after a certain point.
Christmas music is the worse! It seems like in my memory, holiday sales started later in the year and now each year they start earlier and earlier. Soon it will be Christmas year round! Ugh.
I think more and more people are starting to realize a life of minimalism especially with many people blogging about it which is great. I hope more people do and the world in general just produces less stuff.
Such a fab post Adelina. I am at the other end of this journey as you know. Here in Croatia, I love about what you miss from Hungary. I actually forgot EAster was so close, as I did not have all of those commercials and rows and rows of eggs weeks ago reminding me. Its a shame North America and Australia have let it get that way – will it ever change I wonder?
Thanks SJ! I’m so jealous of your ad free Easter and beautiful weather 🙂 I hope you had a great weekend!
You’re absolutely right about the consumer culture in the States. I go back every now and then to visit family, etc. and although I do LOVE a trip through Target, I’m overwhelmed by the buy, buy, buy mentality. I keep hoping the economic downturn is shifting the thinking…slowly, I think it’s changing. I hope.
I secretly adore Target. There are so many cool and interesting things to look at, mostly of things that I don’t need. I hope vast consumerism is on the downturn, but I think it’s starting to spread into Europe as well. My Hungarian friends have all made comments about how their holidays are slowly being commercialized as well which is disappointing. Fingers crossed that it doesn’t!
I love this post Adelina! I agree that the States is all about materialism and rampant consumerium, and it was easy to get caught up in that (although I never did the whole holidays gift buying thing). Before, a day of hanging out with my girlfriend almost always = shopping, which is pretty sad to think that that’s what spending quality time with someone is. I’ve only been on the road for a little bit, and I can already see how different my mentality is now (though my boyfriend does chide me about wanting to buy souvenirs!)
Thanks Anna 🙂 Travel is so great for opening up our eyes. I know what you mean about shopping, not a good use of time. These days my friends seem more interested in eating which I’m fine with as long as there are no chain restaurants! Souvenirs totally cool in my books. I’m guilty of that too.
I know how it feels. It shocks me that it’s all about what you have, the material stuff. When I lived in Canada and now here in the US I go through similar situations, where it seems you need to have things in order to be accepted into a social circle or how everything is about shopping non stop during holidays.
But I guess the reverse culture shock will always be part of a travelers life. Thanks for hosting Sunday Traveler and for inviting me along!
Thanks for participating Monique! Yea, it really does seem like you need all this stuff in order to fit in or else people just judge you. It’s hard to swim against the stream, but it gets easier with time and there are so many others out there who think the same. It’s just finding them that is hard.
great post. I actually wrote about this last year on one of my blogs. I struggle every time I visit the States with some of these things. Here is that post if you want to read my thoughts. http://www.inthecalm.org/2013/11/whysoweird/
Thanks again for hosting and for hale ping me make it on time this week! I hope you had a nice Easter. We were in Croatia. It was a neat experience as always. Talk to you soon!
Thanks Tamika & for participating again! I’ll check out your post. I’m relieved to hear that there are so many people that are in the same boat as me as well. I was so nervous publishing this post!
And wow Croatia sounds like it would have been wonderful. I look forward to hearing about it on your blog 🙂
For all the reasons you mention, I do not plan on ever doing another Christmas in the U.S. Too many lines and too much pressure.
YES! The lines are the worse!
Oh great Post ~ we have been in Europe for ten years and were just home in the USA for Christmas ~ I really experienced the same thing. I forget how fast, money motivated and all commercial everything was after being gone for so long! However, I was only there for 3 weeks visiting family. I am not sure I will eve adjust to going back home ~ Europe is so comfortable and family oriented that I really have grown to love it and apprecaite everything closed at 10 and on Sunday! This is something our family has really talked a lot about! Nice post thank you for sharing!
Thanks Stacey! I miss all of that. The family focus, a good work and life balance. I can’t even imagine what it would be like after 10 years. It’s definitely been tough trying to adapt and the longer I’ve stayed “home” the more I don’t want to adapt! Maybe I’ll be back in Europe soon enough 🙂
I totally agree with you – I’m not religious either, but holidays have been turned into big money spending occasions rather than what they should be about – spending time with loved ones! I think that most people are expected to get a good job so they can just keep buying more and more stuff they don’t need, the latest and greatest. I know that I’m trying to cut back on my expenses, and stop buying things that I don’t need! I would much rather travel with that money! Maybe the minimalist movement that is starting to grow in popularity in my online blogs will start to take off on a broader scale…
You’re right. More and more people are starting to realize that they don’t need all that stuff, but I think the majority of the population needs something to wake them up to the fact. In many ways, we’re all like sheep, just following along with the crowd. Hopefully things are changing though.
“I know people who chase after the newest gadgets, despite owning the previous version that is barely a year old. I’m not judging these choices at all. It is a difference of priorities. I much rather save my money and spend it on experiences like travel.”
Hear, hear! I’m the only one in my group of friends who has any motivation to travel, even if it’s just to go the next town over, and I tire of constantly having to turn down frequent dinners out, or movies, or to buy new clothes… like you said, I’d rather NOT eat at a chain restaurant in the states and use that money for a nice meal in Rome this summer.
I had the same reverse culture shock when I returned home from a mere two weeks in Uganda in 2007. I wanted to sell EVERYTHING.
This post is a great reminder that money and things are not everything! Our culture is saturated with a materialistic and commercial mindset, and that mindset can distract and detract us from what is truly important in life. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Katrina! I definitely agree – there is too much stuff in the world already. Why do we need more? Plus, nice meal in Rome > chain restaurants. Always!
I definitely had reverse culture shock after spending a year in Japan. I think one of the largest shocks was the fact that I couldn’t commute everywhere like I did in Japan. That and people here aren’t as humble as they are over there. Oh food and food portions are so much larger here too! Unfortunately my north American appetite has since returned 🙁
I really miss having great transit options too. It really seems like North America is a culture of driving which sucks for me – I hate driving! Ack, yes! Food portions are massive. I can never finish a meal when I eat out and always have to ask for a bag to go (I can’t waste food either!)
I’ve been back in the States for 8 months after 2 years abroad and the commercials here are driving me crazy! The prescription drug commercials are the worst and should be illegal. It should be the responsibility of doctors alone to inform their patients of the medicines they need. I don’t need to hear about all these drugs and their crazy side effects.
It’s been hard to resist falling back into old shopping patterns, especially since we are preparing to move to a country with a vastly different climate than what we’re used to. But aside from stocking up on essentials, I’ve been trying to resist the lure of the mall. I’ve also been using public transportation even though it takes me twice as long to get anywhere. My friends don’t understand why I won’t take taxis, but all that money is going into my travel fund.
Exactly! Those drug commercials are so annoying and agreed, they have no place on TV. Good for you for avoiding spending money where you don’t have to. And wow, how exciting – you’re going to Latvia! I’ve always wanted to go, so I’ll have to follow along on your adventures 🙂
Yes, I understand complety where you are coming from. Even I am not much of a spender (except for travels & food), the amount of ads on any Canadian TV channel drives me crazy (OK, it’s not like I understand the ones running on Croatian TV :-), so maybe I am not totally fair here; They might be as bad in Croatia! I wouldn’t know the difference.) Anyway we should celebrate the holidays for what they really are, and not use them as another excuse to by the things we dobnt actually need.
You bring up a really good point. I don’t understand enough Hungarian to be fully affected by the ads they have. My boyfriend says it has gotten worse in Budapest over the years too. That said, I don’t think it has gotten as bad as in North America.
Holidays are just getting worse and worse here too – it’s really ridiculous how it has become. The materialism drives me insane as well especially now that all my money is seen in travel funds in my eyes.
Yup, exactly. Every time I spend some money I think about how that isn’t going towards travel. I feel slightly better when its for an adventure at home that I’ve never done before though.
Great post Adelina! We have had pretty much the same experience. Since coming back home, we really haven’t bought anything we didn’t “need”. I know my family and friends think it’s funny that we don’t buy “stuff” anymore. Honestly though, I feel so much happier without all the excess baggage – if I didn’t need the stuff on the road, why would I need it at home. It also really helped seeing how people live in other countries! Thanks for sharing and have a great day!
Yes exactly. Once you’ve learned how to live with just the possessions in your bags, everything else just seems like too much.
We were just talking about this yesterday. We lived in Germany for 2.5 years when we were first married. Here it is 20 years later and we still talk about how living there was so much easier than living here. Part of it was because we knew we wouldn’t be bringing our “stuff” home, it was so freeing to feel like you didn’t have to accumulate things. We never felt the need to keep up either. Once we came back to the states it all started again. The holidays are awful, but it also seems to be an every day thing here too. I’m ready to move back to that life.
I so agree! Sounds like you need to get away from it all. Perhaps a couple months in Europe (or maybe elsewhere in the world) is ahead of you 🙂
It’s really something what you see in your own culture when you return to it. Sometimes you end up feeling good about where you came from – other times, not so good.
I know a lot of people fear homogenisation, but I don’t mind the idea that we would cherry-pick the things from elsewhere which uphold the values we want to see in our society.
Your eyes definitely are open to all the bad (and good) in a society when you’re away from it for awhile. It’s an interesting process for sure.