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Five years ago today, I step foot in Budapest airport for the first time for what was to become a life-changing experience. At the time, of course, I had no idea. I was just looking for an adventure and fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine to spend a significant portion of time in a foreign country where I didn’t speak the language.
Now looking back, even though I’ve been home for longer than I was gone, it seems like it was only yesterday that I called Budapest home. I recall fondly wandering through the streets of the city at all hours of the day. Fighting to try and figure out the new systems. The friends that I made during that period remain dear to me and conversations with them seem to flow regardless of the amount of time spent apart.
The people that made my experience what it was
It’s kind of funny that in conversation, I define my life in pre-Budapest and post-Budapest terms. It’s like there is a natural split in my memories. Pre-Budapest, I was still such a kid. I had just graduated from university, working my first adult job that I hated. While in Budapest, between my job and the environment I was in, I was thriving because of the constant challenge of being somewhere so different which pushed me to learn and grow as an individual.
Every day was an adventure it seemed. Sure, there were plenty of frustrations, but that is what made it so interesting. It has turned me into the person I am today and I’m so incredibly thankful that I was lucky enough for all the cards to fall in the right direction so that I was able to make a dream come true. My time abroad was a lot of things to me:
It was a challenge and an adventure
Trying to buy some meat for dinner!
As cliche as it sounds, when living abroad every day is an adventure. Stepping out the front door always resulted in surprises from accidentally purchasing chicken liver bun and wondering why it tasted so awful (true story) to finding a toilet in the middle of the street on your walk home from work (also a true story). Most things were normal and the same as at home: people go to work, people go home. Cars drive on the right, pedestrians stroll on the sidewalk.
Why yes, I would like my toilet paper to come with a scent of peach. Why doesn’t North America have this?!
And yet it’s in the details where things get strange and weird. Where hello means goodbye and goodbye means hello and addresses don’t quite make sense. A world where English words you thought you understood actually mean different things and to wait in line for an ATM, you stand outside the room to give others privacy. Where trying to cook a meal turns into something so much more than you bargain for.
It was fun observing all these little differences and trying to make sense of things when they did not. It definitely got frustrating at times, but in the end, it’s all one funny story now.
It opened my eyes to a new culture
One of the most frequent questions I get when I talk about my time abroad, is why Hungary? Why did you decide to go there? The simple answer is because I was able to find a job there. The longer reason was because I knew nothing about the country beyond where it was located and had never set foot there. Some thought me crazy, others called me brave, but in reality, it’s none of that. I was after adventure (see #1) and the opportunity to learn about somewhere different that I otherwise wouldn’t learn about.
With one of my best Hungarian friends who was always willing to answer my stupid questions
And learn I did. I observed how Hungarians thought, learned about its cuisines and festivities, like name days, I picked up their social cues, like kisses on the cheek as a greeting and farewell. Even today, I keep up on Hungarian news just to see what is going on in my home away from home. Despite my (relatively) short time there, I managed to learn a lot about Hungary and Hungarians no thanks in part to some fantastic people I met who were willing to share their country with me (also, having a Hungarian boyfriend helped too!).
Beyond just learning about Hungary, I picked up a group of international friends all there from different parts of the world. They exposed me to different ways of thinking and their cultures as well. I learned what a hob is in British English (an oven), how to make coxinha, a Brazilian snack of chicken inside fried dough, from a Japanese-Brazilian, and experienced the football (aka soccer) craze during the Eurocup.
Dumplings anyone?
And the cultural sharing goes both ways too. My roommate and I loved entertaining and we got in our heads that we would make a Chinese New Year dinner for our friends.Somehow things snowballed and 26 people and 9 dishes later, it’s now a crazy memory whenever we play the game “remember that time when…”
It was the catalyst to me starting this blog
Must keep traveling, must keep traveling…
I started Pack Me To in the midst of my reverse culture shock as a way for me to tell my stories from living abroad. Sure, I kept a blog while I was away, but only so many of my adventures made it on that blog. There were so many other stories to tell. Never mind that I never actually ended up telling most of those stories here (but a few made it here). It was also a promise to myself to continue to go and explore the world despite not living abroad and to make a conscious effort to include travel in my life.
It gave me permission to be myself
I have no words…
In many ways, I feel like my time abroad was like taking a break from life. It gave me permission to just live in the moment and truly be myself. It was like starting a fresh life where people didn’t know anything about me. It allowed me to be my authentic self and realize that I didn’t need to be a certain way or act in an unnatural or uncomfortable way in order to have friends.
Yes, I’m rocking a yellow onesie
It was so so liberating and one of the reasons why I look back on that period of time with such fond memories. That experience of being myself was translated back into who I am today. It’s been a lot easier to just be myself and not try to be someone I’m not.
It gave me permission to grow up
This is a weird thought for me because it was something a fought for so long and didn’t happen right away. Over time, I feel like my time abroad also gave me permission to grow up. To be concerned about adult things like saving for retirement and looking at investing in property. That yes, I had one crazy adventure and now it’s okay to start thinking about THE FUTURE. Going abroad was an opportunity to just go and be – be content with what I have, be in the moment, be myself.
All my friends are getting married. Must be getting older!
I wouldn’t say living abroad allowed me to find myself because it didn’t. I was having too much fun going on adventures to really reflect on the experience. However, the process of reverse culture shock, of getting re-adjusted back into life at home, was where I did a lot of soul-searching and metaphorically found myself. This period of time was about trying to figure out who I was and the priorities I had in life. Did I want to continue to travel? Did I want to set down roots? Where do I see myself in 5, 10 years? Life planning of sorts.
Yay for a lifetime of adventures!
Looking back at who I was 5 years ago and who I am today, living abroad has definitely shaped a lot of my thoughts and understanding of the world. It is an experience that I would not change (except maybe to have blogged more about it!) and full of memories I revisit often. When I hear of friends getting the opportunity to live abroad, I’m always their biggest supporter. There is no other experience like it and if you, dear reader, are considering a life abroad, I highly suggest you, too, chase that opportunity. You never know, it just might change your life.
Have you had life-defining moments before? What experiences have challenged and changed you?
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This sounds like a wonderful experience, and it’s great that it taught you so much. I absolutely adore Budapest, I can’t think of a cooler place to live! It must have been completely out of your comfort zones at times, but that’s when we grow most, right? The sister of one of my friends is going to study in Budapest for a year, I’m very jealous but hopefully we’ll all get to visit her! I’d love to live abroad at some point, as you say, it can be life changing. This was a great post to read, thanks for sharing!
This was so relatable! My year in Prague changed me. I met the best people, had some crazy experiences and learned more than school has ever taught me. In a way, it will always be home. <3
Yes! I know what you mean about it being home despite time spent abroad is relatively such a small slice of your overall life. Thanks for reading!
Great post! A lot of people expect that moving abroad WILL help them find themselves and I have to say in many cases, it won’t and a lot of people get disappointed. I guess there isn’t just so magic formula that allows one to find themselves 🙂
Agreed! If only magic formulas actually work 🙂
it shows just how much travel changes and grows people! Great post!
Love this so much!! I’m starting my year abroad in 2 weeks and am moving to Brussels, Belgium; I’m so nervous! I’m glad your year abroad was such a rewarding experience and you got so much out of it, I can only hope mine will be as positive as yours. I’m looking forward to being my 100% authentic self too, as you say, and sort of creating a whole new life for myself.
Emma x
Thanks for your lovely comment Emma! I hope you have a fantastic time in Brussels. It’s a lovely city to be in.
Love this article – you have really captured much of what it feels like to live abroad. Thank you!
This post was spot on to my experiences. Studying abroad and living in Australia definitely shaped me and took me down a completely different path than I would have been on had I not done it.
Travel certainly changed your life and just reading your post, I can see how much it has helped you grow into a great young adult. I wish everyone had this attitude about getting out of their comfort zones. The world would be a much better place if we all took some time to understand other cultures.
I spend an amazing year living in West Africa. It helped me appreciate my life back in the States while missing the world I had learned to love. It sounds like you made the most of your time abroad.
Yea, makes total sense… I went through reverse culture shock when returning to the US after 9 years in London (and recently started a travel blog to cope…) It’s strange that no one talks about it, but it’s so weird returning home after you’ve changed in indescribable ways, and the people around have changed in their own, different ways.
I think the toughest part is that I felt so comfortable with an international group of friends, and it’s really tough to find new friends I can relate to.
I know what you mean. It took me awhile to reintegrate with my friends from before my time abroad. They’ve changed, I changed. They have collective memories that you’re not part of. It’s definitely not a part of travel a lot of people dwell on, but just as important.
Great read. We can relate well to this article. We’ve definitely felt all those feelings. It’s crazy what travel does to you. And that feeling when you go home. You are a wiser person and a better person within. So glad you learnt so much and thank you so much for sharing. Happy travels for the future.
Absolutely! Travel is good for the soul 🙂