Home: Coming to Terms with Reality

I originally started this blog to share my adventures that I had while I was in Europe, with a focus on my travels more so than day to day expat life, unlike my other blog. I had started it knowing that I was returning to Europe. I had a job, a place to live, my belongings were there. But of course, life doesn’t always turn out the way that you plan it and I had to stay at home for a little while longer. Eventually I found a job and settled down.

Somewhere between Belgrade and Budapest

I’m trying to continuing exploring the world through connecting with other travel bloggers, revisiting my travel memories and writing about them. That in itself is difficult because all I’m doing is writing about the past without planning much for the future. See what other travelers have planned, reading about other people’s adventures, makes me green with envy. I wish that was me.

Yes, I have a couple of possibilities up on the horizon, but nothing like what I use to plan when I was in Budapest. This lack of adventure and the monotonous future that I see (at least for the next couple months), is getting me down (not to mention the sun setting at 4:30 everyday!). I was doing so well. I’ve been home for almost a year now and I’m only starting to really feel it.

I’m finding it harder and harder to keep motivated in keeping this blog up and running. I like writing and I like telling stories (it’s what I do for a living), but when it comes to my own travels its like I’ve hit a wall. Even posting this is hard. Admitting it in black and white on the internet for all to see makes it all so much more real.

Pack up the car and just go.

I’m starting to struggle and to flounder at home. I have this ever continuing urge to pack up my life and just go, but also at the same time I don’t. I’m bored with the monotony of day to day life. Any travel is expensive and even local attractions are hard to do without a car.

At the same time, the comforts of home are slowly seeping it. I’m comfortable with my routine, with my job, with all that is normal. Except, at the same time, I’m not. Can it be as simple as buying a plane ticket to the other side of the world?

I was able to do it almost 3 years ago, so why can’t I just do it again?

I’m neither here nor there. Half of my worldly possessions are currently at my boyfriend’s house which is on the other side of the world. Not to mention, long distance relationships are hard and the nine hour time difference makes its difficult to talk and connect. We argue over silly things that I know we wouldn’t fight about if we were in the same city (would you believe we bickered on how to use the word “humidity”? Ridiculous).

In my head, I have a master plan, but it requires patience as I bid my time, planning my escape. Until then, I need to figure out the delicate balance of working a full time 9-5 job with my desire to explore the world.

Those who have gone and come back, how do you overcome?

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